Today I cried like a child in his shoulders. I didn't have the strengh to make the right thing. again. Several minutes of talking and the saddest silence ever. I chose to suffer later, because now I really need him. I can't say goodbye to this feeling inside of me. And in our tears I've found out that I can fall more, and the stupidest is that I chose this fall once again. I can't help feeling this pain in my breast but the idea of losing everything that I dreamed to us is unbareable. I did end our relationship, we discussed about how we wanted to be friends from each other stuffs like that.. but the pain was too much, the hole was to deep, so I went against all rational resolutions and we made it up. And here I am, with this sadness in my eyes, fearing the consequences and praying to everthing end up right. Masoquist han?