http://www.mochileiros.com/argentina-f111.html

sinta o cheiro de possibilidade...

.. e se eu tivesse um gato, ele se chamaria Inácio.

Milena burra... como se as pessoas fossem obrigadas a saberem o nome do livro.
Sorry..
o nome do livro é O encontro marcado
( não nada de brad Pitt, baby)

" De tudo ficaram três coisas:a certeza de que ele estava sempre começando, a certeza de que era preciso continuar e a certeza de que seria interrompido antes de terminar" Sabino

Meu, a síntese da minha vida.
an, sim, estou empolgada com esse livro.

"Fazer da queda um passo de dança, do medo uma escada, do sono uma ponte, da procura um encontro" Fernando Sabino

ficou na cabeça...

De repente me veio a seguinte frase à cabeça
" não é por que ninguém te entende que você é artista"
(Rita Lee)

Ram... ahh mas deu pra entender meu poeminha neh????
bom, tanto faz, esse blog não é pra ter muito sentido mesmo

XD

Aliááás... hoje tem show dela! Meu único intuito é dançar muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuito com a minha mãe! Prova no dia seguinte? Bom... pelo menos eu já entro na vibe neh ahhahaha
se tem uma coisa q eu aprendi com essa maratona foi a de que quanto menos vc se importar, melhor será seu desempenho. Fato.
Então sim, cantarei a plenos pulmões " Levava uma vida sossegada. Gostava de sombra e água frescaaaaaaa"

Olha eu brincando de poeta ^^:

Novos horizontes

Interrompeu.
A boca escancarada
Com a palavra que não disse

Então rompeu
Com as algemas apertadas
Que o atrelavam à mesmice

Era hora de partir
Parir a nova hora
Proferir a nova lei

Livrou-se do jeans
muniu-se de sins
e foi ver onde onde o céu encontra o chão

Sabe, é humanamente impossível estudar Vinícius de Moraes e não se apaixonar ainda mais. É fisiologicamente improvável analisar Vinícius de Moraes e não desenhar alguns versos em qualquer pedaço de papel. É completamente inevitável se arrepiar da cabeça aos pés ouvindo Vinícius de Moraes num quarto escuro. É quase como se ele próprio estivesse ali, declamando os versos só para você. E você sente toda dor, todo desejo, todo o pecado que ele trasmite naquela entonação, naquele sotaque.
Então eu recomendo: doses diárias de Moraes para conhecer toda dor e prazer e atribuir à vida um pouco mais de intensidade.

E cada vez mais a vida prova que semelhante atrai semelhante.
E eu acho tudo muito válido hhahahahaha
"E não há tempo que volte amor
Vamos viver tudo o que há prá viver
Vamos nos permitir"

And one day you'll be astonished with some people's hability of being disgusting.
Careful: they use masks and they don't give a shit to what you think( although they insistently deny it).

meu queixo caiu:

A alma romântica habitando um corpo moderno enfrentará o mundo devastado pela arrogância idiota dos modernos, pela objetividade morta da ciência, pelo niilismo do dinheiro, pela certeza cética da inutilidade da verdade. Em uma palavra, será uma exilada." Luiz Felipe Pondé

Now people make the following association: Edito de milão> milão> milena> liberdade>liberdade de culto ao cristianismo
ajahahhahahahhahahaha how cute han??? love them^^

during my Math class, I came with this jewel:
roses are red
violets are blue
when you say love words
I say fuck you

wooooooooooooooooooooooowwww super han? ahhahahahah
my first English poem hahahahah
suck.. hunfs.. who cares?

"three littles birds set on my window and they told me I don't have to worry"

Obviously those birds don't apply to enter unicamp hahahah

But, I'm under control. Despite the constant feeling that I will throw up at any momment, the sweaty hands, the paranoic shine in my eyes, I think I'm doing "well".
So, dear reader, please, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE light a canddle, make a "mandiga"( if you are not brazilian, you won't understand it anyway, so skip to next clause ok?^^), pray to your Gods, your demons, whatever! The point is to help me Sunday, cause right now my lifesense depends on this day. Yes, I'm dramatic. Yes, life is more than that.. but COMMONNNNNNN it's been two years of studing, lots and lots of "nos", rivers of tears... I have the right to be dramatic ok??
So be nice and say a little pray for me ^^
(forever and ever to stay in my heart... hahahah I'm sure you're singing it right now"hahahahhaha)

that's all folks
Take care

E ela chuuuuuta o pau da barraca. Sem paciência para os anglo-saxões, ela veste a camisa lusitana e desabafa na língua pátria.
Vamos dar aos nossos estimados leitores um panorama geral da cena:
clima ameno, tarde bonita, um sono intrínseco, Feist e D2 beeem alto nos ouvidos, o violão no canto, a pessoa errada na cabeça, o esmalte implorando pela acetona, a cachorra envelhecendo lá fora, o livro loooooonge no quarto, ácido lático em excesso nos músculos( quem mandou se meter com a capoeira)*observação para o escritor: comentar sobre a tese da quinta da dor*, danones de sabores variados ingeridos compulsivamente traduzindo uma ansiedade que já mora junto.
Suspirando ela tamborila os dedos( será que esse verbo existe? Me vem a imagem de Dumbledore na cabeça, mas talvez a palavra não seja... enfim, agora ela existe, pelo menos pra mim). ELa tem vontade de falar tudo, de conversar com todos. Aliás, isso já a incomoda. Os sonhos não são mais ações. Ela passa a noita inteira conversando em sonho com as pessoas do seu dia-a-dia e com as que deveriam ser também. Cansa. Sério mesmo. E como a gente esquece uma pessoa, se pseudo passa a noite com ela. Não há força de vontade que dê jeito não é mesmo?!
E são sobre os assuntos mais diversos... desde terapias de casal, kits que incluem lenços umidecidos e planos para semana que vem até conspirações para mudar certas coisas, viagens exóticas e exercícios de matemática. Na boa, sonhar com resoluções de exercícios é o cúmulo do cúmulo.
Bom, tentando dar algum sentido a esse post, aqui vai uma listinha bem sintetizadora:
* é, agora tem capoeira na minha vida- UHUL.. a melhor energia possível com as melhores companhias. Sentir seu corpo sendo tomado pelo som do berimbau traz uma sensação indescrítivel. Tudo o que eu precisava pra ter uma semana menos incompleta, pra canalizar essa energia em excesso para um lugar saudável( hormônios e geladeira não são os melhores concordam?).
*quinta da dor: sabe de uma coisa? Faz três semanas que as 5 feiras têm sido de muita dor física. Culpa de quartas prazeirosas ahahha Elas valem a pena, são várias formas de prazer, mas haja dorflex!!! hhahahha
* Rá! Agora eu desenho!!! Caricaturas escrotas, péssimas noções de luminosidade e profundidade e na maioria das vezes muiiiita informação, mas seila eu gosto ahahahah è uam forma de tentar tirar um pouco da desordem da minha cabeça. eu realmente acho que estou funcionando numa frequência muito diferente da maioria, com percepções muito diferentes( quase sempre toscas) da realidade. Desenhar, portanto, alivia um pouco esse fusuê(palavra frequentemente usada pela minha mãe hahahah Aliás, preciso fazer um post pra essa criaturinha tão complexa que eu amo e sobre quem eu vou escrever um livro ^^ tá, anotei: próximo post: mamiiiiiii ahahha).
* uma frasesinha pra encerrar e que fica indo e voltando na minha cabeça:
"Brilha onde estiver, faz da lágrima o sangue que te deixa de pé"
è isso aí, força nessa reta final. Que a dor nos fortaleça e que a lágrima nos remedie.

Short Bus.
That kind of movie you can't see with your family. In the beggining you have sure it's gonna be a porn, but if you can deal wiht so many sex scenes, gay sex, chinese groans, you will see a complex reflection about the human's sorrows. The colors and the soundtrack are beautifully envolving. It's worthy. The kind of movie you would never rent, but take my advise: rent it!You will not regret it and you certainly will see things with another perspective. I guess this is what really counts in your day right? Seeing things with other visions so the world can be a little less boring.

We open our mouths, there are no words.
We try to assimilate, but we just can't do it.
These moments last an eternity and you still think more time will be necessary to deal with them.
The silent isn't confortable, the tears are so damn insistent.
We are so unprotected that a hug is the only way to try to translate what is going on.
And a hug is a powerful thing you know. It doesn't solve anything, it doesn't take the pain away, but it does make the situation a little more bareable.
So, I hope our thoughts and our prayers can envolve with a hug those we love and are suffering now. The strongest hug ever in an attempt to make it a little less painful, a little more bareable.
We love you.

Man, I am completly in love with Spanish songs and Neruda. It's so heady, so envolving... I'm in love with it.

My day:
one word- joysticker(hahahahahhaha I know that no one will understand, but ok)
one song- "Rape me", Nirvana
one feeling- I feel fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine( when you read this, please try to get my viiiiiiiiiibeahahhaha)
good news- A person is getting better! Fingers are crossed, the faith is stronger than ever!
bad news- none. WHATTTTTTT?? no bad news this entire day??? common, I'm really surprised! Watch out destiny, I can get used to it.
one food: panetonee!!!! Yes, Christmas is faaaaaaaaaaar from now, in fact I'm waiting someone saying to me' oh haven't you heard? Christmas was canceled this year' ahahahha I don't doubt it! So i'm already eating panetones!
one drink- coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More and more addicted to it!
conclusion:
Wierd, but this was a really good day!

Friendship. I wish from the bottom of my heart that you someday can find out the real meaning of this word. Cause I've already found it and as the years pass by, the problems come and a sad, difficult and gray world appears to you and to those you love, friendships -the real ones- get stronger. Yes. Life is much more difficult now for everyone around me, for everyone I care for, but the feelings are deeper, the bondings are, more than ever, enduring. The power of a hug, the power of a call, the power of a word. This is a post to thank God for the friends I have. They aren't many, but they are all I need. Together we stand and it's all that matters.

ufff
finally a time for me! Actually a pseudo time, wich I intend to spend the best way I know: Listening to the beatles, writting useless and just enjoying these brief moments of peace. I know I deserve it ^^

18:08- Ok, when you start to envy a bird, is the sign that you may have some issues to deal with ahahhahah

18 o´clock and the maritacas are going crazy( M-A-R-I-T-A-C-A-S I think it's such a funny word that I won't even look for its translation). Common!!!! Who can stand this plague?? Every single day is the same desperate noise. And no, they aren't cute at all. Always with a partner, "dating", just to remember you that you are not doing the same. You wake up early in the morning, prepare yourself for the day ahead, try to be optimistic you know, and you go out on the street and voilá: there they are! At least three couples really close, giving all those "maritacas's kisses" ¬¬
Just what you need.

Everything.
Sadness, relief, anger, solitude, sadness again, tears( of the both type: the silent ones and the desperate ones), disappointment, fake laughs, fake 'moving ons',fake 'all rights', but finally a closure. Not for him, he got that about one month ago. It's a closure for my body, my mind and mostly for my heart. No hope, no anger. I just don't need this friendship, his falsehood. Actually I think he represents the concept of disappointment itself but that's just it. It's akward you know.. I finaly don't miss him, not all. And yeah, I know I am excessively lazy to realize this closure. But, that's just my nature xD
That's it folks,
A biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig closure
and may this unexpected rain wash the last tears ( but honestly, there aren't many)

Drunk

Ok, only in the next day you realize that there is a possibility, a huge one let's just say, that you got drunk! Is that so?? Before you ask, no, my sense of right and wrong was still intact(ok, being honest, it was a little damaged ihihih), I remember every conversation, situation blabla BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT common, did I really did those things? Well they weren't wrong, not all. They were.. humm.. sponteneaus! Laying down on the kitchen floor, jumping and screaming in a room that smelled 'hot man', laughing about everything, and making fool of yourself ALL THE TIME is a little tipsy han? XD
Oh but it felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO damn good and relaxing.. I do recommend you getting tipsy my dear reader. It' s good for your body, it's good for your mind, it's good for everything ahhahaha

When your weeks get the strange habit of being a hell, your days insist in being a complete waste of time, you begin to have fun with your situation. And here is an advise: don't loose the habilit of making fun of yourself, this way there ain't no shit that can surprise you anymore.

Today I cried like a child in his shoulders. I didn't have the strengh to make the right thing. again. Several minutes of talking and the saddest silence ever. I chose to suffer later, because now I really need him. I can't say goodbye to this feeling inside of me. And in our tears I've found out that I can fall more, and the stupidest is that I chose this fall once again. I can't help feeling this pain in my breast but the idea of losing everything that I dreamed to us is unbareable. I did end our relationship, we discussed about how we wanted to be friends from each other stuffs like that.. but the pain was too much, the hole was to deep, so I went against all rational resolutions and we made it up. And here I am, with this sadness in my eyes, fearing the consequences and praying to everthing end up right. Masoquist han?

"I confess.." ahahhahahah this is always interesting when you're with your friends in a bar. You won't scape from the red faces and inconvinient silence right inyour turn ahhahaha.
But more than knowing other's secrets or admiting your sins, the coolest thing is to realize that you are more normal than you think and you don't have to be afraid... we are all scared ninety percent of the time with our doubts, our desires..
So I recommend you: don't have so many secrets.. open yourself to people you trust, but first, you have to learn trusting. It's not easy in the beggining, but with time and the right friends, you will get used to it. Sharing. This is the key word to feel a little lighter and much more complete.

21:24- Your sister is looking at you with your mother's eyes, while you're talking with her bestfriend in codes. Then she says" two things: you're wearing your clothes in a wrong way and you have lipstick on your tooth" UFFFFFFFFFFFFFF And they call ME slow hahahhahha

20:53- And no one can get this sexy so fast ahhahahahha just kidding.. I didn' dry my hair, didn't make an awsome make up.. but I so comfortable with the way I look right know^^ It took me 19 years, but finally I found myself when talking about style

19:03: hahahahah it is soooo cool to talk in codes with the family.... later I'll explain ahhahaha meanwhile, I got a feeling that tonight is gonna be a good night ahahahha because I will be with my girlfriends and lots of talking. And guess what is going to be the main subject ahahha I predict a laughstorm comming hahahah

18:46 You know.. sometimes I can't help feeling sad.. it's such a big hole in my breast... and the ironic is that yesterday I was begging to hang out, drink a beer.. but today, when I have a place to go, I don't feel like going... shit shit shit..
But it's okay, I'll put nice clothes on, makeup, and stuff like that.. I'm sure I'll get better.. common it's Saturday night, I think I deserve it! ;)

09:42: Little stop- nature calling XD I dont't know why I'm thinking about my father this much, but I am, so let's writte down:
When you watch a movie with my father, you certainly will go under these situations:
* laugh with him if it's a commedy ' cause for him everything is funny, for me loud and long laugh that is.
*Embarasemment if it is a sex scene.But I think it's normal I guess. Who likes to see a couple having fun with your father beside you?
*patience exercises- The thing is that the most part of my father's English knowledge came from selfstudy, so he can read everything, but pronouce.. well.. it's a little more complicated. But he likes trying,( and that's waht matters right kids? xD), so when he hears a cool word in a movie( and by cool you take 'soap opera', 'kidnap','therefore','nowadays'...), he repeats it. In case it's a phrasal verb which he understands in the context, he makes sure everyone in the room gets it too xD And when the subscript is different from what is being das?!?! What a criiime!!! hahahhahah Patience honey, patience

paper to screen

09:27- I'm in a such good mood that I am recalling funny scenes from the moveis I saw this week. Yes, I'm still doing the dishes ahahha Oh I wanna write down one of the images in my head at this moment:
Hommer Simpson and his pig among the population of Sprigfield. Men are looking for the guilty person( of course it's Hommer xD)and he says to his pig "Act naturally" and then the pig BARKS ahahahahhahahahahahha Even now I'm laughing. By the way, you should watch a commedy with my father...you will laugh whether the movei is funny or not. xD

From the paper to the screen

o8:59- Moooorning! Why did I said that? This isn't twitter remember?? Whatever..Here I am, staring these giant dishes.. and the thing is I'm kind in the mood of washing them. What? Dishes? Before 10 am?? Am I crazy or what?? You see I went to bed at 3:30am, it took me a while to fall sleep, later I heard the entire chat during my parentes' breakfast and here I am- in a good mood. This is odd, but okay.. what isn't odd nowadays?

03:24- That's it. The night really surprised me and I actually had more fun than I had supposed I would. But my body is asking for my bed, no, he is begging for it.
I really enjoyed this new blog and all this non sense involving it. I intend to continue, so I'll come back soon. I can't help wondering how will my dreams will be like. As a matter of fact, I'd like that dense and empty blackdream. And tomorrow? Tomorrow I have one purppose, only one: smile.Truthly and completly.

03:01 still in class ahahahahha

02:12 and sex here we go again ahuahuhuahuahuahua Why? Why we always talk about it? And die to laugh of course ahahahha
Hey, I said this night would be interesting

01:11- I've just googled " spaghetti sculpture" hahahahaha can it be more useless?? I'm afraid it can ahahha After all, the night has just begun( that's always a lie, but okay). Here's a thought: how was the world before Google?? Because, I really don't recall the very first instant' www . google.com' and yet it's so completly necessary for my life, I mean, it's one of the basics human needs, isn't it? Despiste this blackout, I do remember the confusion about how to pronounce it "gógle? gugle? guugouu!" And what does it even mean? Can my grandma pronounce it? Can she live without it? Well, she can, sure. But think about it: she isn't aware of Googles wonders :O!!! How come??
Ok, personal note: after one middlenight point you really need to stop asking. It's serious.

00:28 Ok, the internet can't stop seducing me, it's against its function. I'm listening to Beatles, as usual (the more I listen to it, the more I love it), and here is a thought that I should write down: all the lullabies that I'll sing to my Mohammed (that's how a friend of mine calls my future baby, yet my sister, who had dreammed about him, calls my son Thiago, well they're both wrong ahaha how much especulation han xD) where was I? Beatles, right. Yeah, I ´ll sing their songs for my baby from the moment I begin to raise a watermelon inside me. Common, imagine if all babies come to the world with this orientation?!?! Love and peace for suuuuuuuure hahahaha
And meanwhile, sex. At least, talking about it.. isn't funny how all conversations end in sex? The world keeps spining, the rocks keep rolling and the sex talk keeps coming. The funniest is that we are all virgin. Well, not everyone, and not completly... ahhaha but ok.. this isn't a subject for a blog wich your father happens to read right? Love you daddy( and no, I didn't drink your Vodka xD)

23:48- great movie yessss
But what now? My bed seems sooo inviting. Yes, I would prefer if he were there, but it's okay. Well it isn't, not all. Yet it is partially empty, the dream's world is so charming right now...
If Internet can't seduce me anymore, I'll have perfect meetings, the hotest kisses, the funniest moments in my bed very soon.

22:37-And of course, if you don't have anything to do, I recommend a movie. In my case I'm watching one that I have already watched, but it's funny and cute, and I'm in the mood of a love commedy XD

21:52
well I wanna thank the person who intrudeced me psy ahahhahaha you may have your place in heaven (or in hell in case you wanna have some fun) ahhaha

listen to: Mafia-Psycho Killer


Well, remember the not-existent boyfriend? He's aliiiive ^^ and cute as he always is after he disappears.. how can I be so vunerable?!? Oh, it doesn't matter now, I miss him very much, but I won't cry for him, not now, I have a challenge remember?
I've just listened my friend singing.. and man, she should be in a bar ahah making money and enjoying the life. Actually, we all should be.. what's the point of so maaaany hours studying? Sooner or later, we are all dead. So, yes, we should be in a bar.

21:25
no more Rappa, now I'm drunk with psytrance.. and honey, if you really feel the vibe you wont't need any man, or any finger to be free like this.
My friend, doc FG is flowing with me, and I'm sure we are sharing the same crazy sensation.

Ok, The real reason why I created this blog is because here I will write anythinhg about everyone and every single stupid thought I have- including my old and little-used-English. Mistakes? Plenty of them, but honestly I don't care. If you happen to read this and almost trow up with my ignorance, well, you can correct me, you can knock me down, don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings.
Right now I am trying to have fun with myself. Not that way you jerk, well, at least not now xD See, no car, no boyfriend( although I have the impression that I do have one, I don't see any guy here with me, if you know what I mean), so I'll spend another Friday night at home. Yupi. That's why I made myself a challenge: have fun! Just like that. And so far I have enjoyed writing theses lines, listen to Rappa, reading blogs, talking shit on msn. I'm only sorry I don't have a glass of wine here. But that's ok, we will always have our good friend Vodka, to cheer our loneliness up XD
So that´s it. I am justifying my reasons to myself(pathetic no?) and if you, stranger, are reading this, well, don't be scared: if you take a deeper look, you will realize we are all possible suicidals.